Origin Stories: Sylvester Long on Purpose, Faith, and Vulnerability
An Interview with Mikaela Brewer
Trigger Warning: this interview discusses self-harm and suicide — please read & engage if it is the right time for you.
“God can definitely lead you to a therapist. Maybe that’s the answer to the prayer that you needed to hear. […] I’ve done therapy before. I’ve done counseling before. I encourage anybody to do it. It’s been so helpful for me — especially growing up in the church. I know there have been people who have really not been fond of counseling or therapy because they feel like the only counselor is God. And yes, He’s a wonderful counselor, but God also created people to be counselors and therapists.”
The athlete ecosystem is one of the most vibrant, inspiring, and soulful communities. It is also submerged in an expectation that these things can only be maintained by a standard of mental toughness that deeply embeds mental health stigma. At Timeout, we’re deconstructing this barrier by painting the full picture — bringing you the humans beneath athletes, coaches, care providers, and anyone else immersed in this world. We’re exploring mental health research in a fresh and approachable way — by welcoming our entire community into the conversation and asking questions that will prompt change. Let’s redefine mental toughness together.
In this interview series called “Origin Stories,” we are talking with individuals living in the athlete ecosystem about their journey as a human, and the mental health challenges that come with it.
This month, we had the pleasure of interviewing Sylvester Long, a motivational speaker, author, musician, and former athlete from Columbus, Georgia. His goal is to help others become the best version of themselves they can be — help them realize that the pain we experience is temporary, but connected to the purpose that is defined, designed, and destined for our lives.
Learn more about Sylvester here & explore his work here!
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
The Journey from Athlete to Athletic Director
MB: Tell me a bit about your journey with athletics and going from being an athlete to wanting to be more on that sports admin side of things, because they’re obviously very different experiences. So I’m curious about your path to get there.
SL: Growing up, I’d [played] sports my entire life — baseball and especially when I got into high school track & field was my main sport. I’ve loved it ever since and I did it all the way through college. So I enjoyed competing. I enjoyed competing with my fellow teammates who I still talk to today. I enjoy just being in that atmosphere.
My undergrad degree was in exercise science, so I wanted to do something [along] that route. So my final year [of college] I did an internship with the athletic department. It’s weird to see the operations side and the admin side of things and it really piqued my interest. So I was like, “Okay, I feel like this is something I want to do because I want to be in this exciting atmosphere still, but also help athletes and help the departments thrive in the best way. So that’s where it kind of started for me — I wanted to be in sports administration because the transition from being a fan, to being an athlete, to wanting to work in that atmosphere, I feel like it’d be a cool transition for me. So that’s my overall goal at least, because of course I want to coach too, but the overall goal is to be an athletic director.
MB: Yeah, that’s so cool and so true. There’s just a whole other side of things and a different way that you get to see athletics versus actually competing. You kind of get that bird’s eye view, which is really cool.
Faith as a Lifestyle
MB: So I want to get into what you and I wanted to talk about which is this whole spirituality & religion piece and how that’s played a role in your athletic career, in your life in general, and how those things are connected. So I guess we can do a broad overview — how did that really start for you? Where did your faith start?
SL: So I grew up in the church, Christian. My mom was a minister, and my grandfather and grandmother were Pastor & First Lady of the church. So growing up, we had to go to church because, you know, the whole family had to go. And it started all the way back as a kid, when I didn’t want to go because I knew I had to go. But I really started to get my own understanding at a young age — what it meant to really go to church, work to be a part of it, and have that experience with God. So it was probably middle school when that happened — I really started to develop my own relationship with Him because I just knew how important He was in the lives of my family members. And I wanted Him to have that much importance in my life as well. So every day I do what I can to put Him first in everything that I do — athletics, competing, speaking, whatever the case may be. Because honestly, I wouldn’t be where I am without Him, you know? Because everything that’s happened in my life had to happen the way it did, for a purpose. So, I just look at it as: He’s the reason that I’m here. He’s the reason that I’m able to speak to people, do motivational speaking and have the patterns that I do in the calling that I have.
MB: I love that. I’ve kind of grown into my faith later in my life — I was already in university. So that’s really cool to hear how you grew up with it and how it was just a part of how you did your everyday life. And I’m curious how your faith was further shaped by sports?
SL: Yeah, so every time before a meet, or before a game that I was in, we always prayed — praying that we’d do well and that no matter what the outcome was that we’d do our very best. Because we knew things happen. We knew that losses will happen and that’s a part of the game — it’s just a matter of how we reframe it in our minds. I had to learn that because at times I was a bad loser, I’m not going to lie — I just didn’t take anything well at all. But I had to learn at some point that losses can be considered a lesson. You can take what you learn, move forward with it and apply it the next time.
I want to help other people learn that same lesson as well, whether it be in athletics or just anything else in life. So that’s when I started doing motivational speaking. In 2014/2015 when I started, I’ve been wanting to help people turn pain into purpose, and understand the reason why everything happens — helping them become the best version of themselves that they can be. He’s really been a big part of everything that I do because he’s like a foundation. I use him as a foundation in anything that I speak about. Whether it be a testimony about my life or what I think about my thoughts, I use God as the foundation of that.
MB: I really like how you said that and somebody told me at one point: it’s okay if you want to be mad when shit hits the fan. It’s about it being more of a back and forth, open conversation — the foundational conversation.
Pain into Purpose
MB: I know you touched on this a little bit — hardships and pain and a lot of the things that we go through just as people. But if you’re comfortable sharing, I’m curious how you got to that point where you could really talk about turning pain into purpose, and how your faith was the overarching piece of that.
SL: So one piece of advice my grandfather always taught me growing up — and I took it with me ever since he passed — was that the life that I’m living right now is not for me, it’s for somebody else, because somebody is [always] watching how I operate. Somebody is watching or seeing how I get through my obstacles in some way, shape, or fashion and is maybe struggling in their own way, going through the same thing that I’m going through, or something different. They’re wondering: how are you able to pick yourself back up? How are you able to keep moving forward? And I just tell them it’s not easy. It’s definitely not easy moving forward because sometimes we end up going backwards. Sometimes we end up just feeling how we feel. You have emotions for a reason. We’re not robots — feel those emotions. Don’t stay there too long, but feel the way you feel. And it’s just a matter of putting a name to what you’re feeling, acknowledging that it’s there.
For a while, I didn’t really know how to share my story. I didn’t know how to talk about it until college at least. So college came and I just really wanted to change some stuff up because I was always a quiet kid — you know, always to myself and kind of shy. So it really helped me to grow as a person and as a speaker to be able to share my testimony with somebody who’s been in my shoes in some way, shape, form, or fashion because that’s my overall goal. I want to help somebody even if it’s just one person, helping them turn their pain into their purpose and go from a test to a testimony. So it all started with me just making the decision to want to share my story because somebody may need to hear it. I may not know who it is, but somebody needs to hear it.
MB: I love that. I mean, definitely not an easy conclusion to come to. It’s reminding me of the verse — I think it’s 2 Corinthians 1:4 — about your pain having a purpose for other people and the things that you’ve walked through can help you help other people walk through them:
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given.”
I used to write it on everything when I was going through my own mental health battles. So I appreciate you sharing that because it’s really important. We have to take care of ourselves, but we also have to see how the things that we go through will help others if we choose to share about it.
SL: For sure, yeah. I always have certain verses — my favorite verses. One of my favorites is Jeremiah 29:11:
“For I know the plans that I have for you. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”
That’s one of my favorites because it just gives me that reminder that I’m here for a reason. I was called to do something, purposed to do something — whatever the case may be. And I intend on doing that in some way, shape, or fashion and that’s how my motivational speaking came. Ironically (not ironically) a year after [my grandfather] passed is when I started speaking. So I feel like it wasn’t a coincidence that I started at the end. I knew that his legacy had difficulty in some way, and I fit here and I felt that God showed me that that was the time. He gave me the opportunity to start doing motivational speaking at a time of wanting to pursue it the least.
MB: Yeah, so amazing. And I mean, this is applicable for people who don’t identify as Christian or don’t have a specific religion or faith that they identify with. Maybe they just identify as being spiritual, you know, but it’s a lot of the same messaging that people can hold onto: there’s something bigger than themselves.
Finding Your Footing
MB: I’m curious if you have any advice that you would share for young people, especially athletes, who are maybe not quite there yet, but they’re trying to find their footing.
SL: When it comes to knowing what your purpose is, you’re not going to know it right off, and that’s part of the process. It’s [more] like doing things that you really enjoy — if you know something really tugs at your heart, and you want to do something about it to help, you’ll have an idea of [where to go] in that route. Just take it one step at a time and go from there.
Because there’ll be signs there. There’ll be signs given to you or shown to you. For some people [it may be to] teach or preach. For some people, they may be called to be a doctor or therapist.
It’s not going to be easy pursuing it because you’re going to have people who are going to try to imitate you, but let’s just be honest, they can steal the recipe and cook all they want but the sauce ain’t gonna taste the same. Only you can pursue that the way you do.
MB: Yeah, well said! It’s almost like: you might not know exactly what you’re supposed to do, and it might be a little bit confusing, but you’ll know whether or not you’re going in the right direction. And I think faith helps with that for sure — letting yourself be guided.
Mental Healthcare & Faith Coexist
MB: One thing that I’ve always struggled with or kind of had trouble wrapping my mind around is: I was sometimes told by friends, “Oh, you just need to pray about things that you’re experiencing.” And I’m thinking, I don’t know — I think sometimes you may need help beyond [prayer], in medical care, seeing a therapist, and medication. I believe that those things coexist. But mental health care and faith butt heads in some cases, or people see them as butting heads. So I’m curious [about] your thoughts on that or your experience with that if you’re comfortable sharing.
SL: I was the same way growing up — you’re told to pray about it. Prayer changes things and I’m a firm believer that prayer can definitely change things. But I also believe that God created people to be therapists. God called people to be therapists because that’s a way of ministry and ministering to people. So people are out here doing what they’re called to do. It’s a matter of how people look at it. In that regard, they definitely can coexist.
Mental health is very important to me. And I’ve been very, very vocal about it lately, and especially the past couple of years. I just want people to understand that mental health is real — just as much as physical health. Just because you don’t see nothing wrong doesn’t make it any less real, or fake or anything like that. Mental health is real. People go through things in their minds that you don’t know about because they may not want to talk about it.
There is pain going on there. You may not be able to see it but it's inner pain inside that people don’t necessarily talk about. Some people may not be comfortable talking about it and that’s normal. You know, it takes time to open up about that.
MB: It definitely does, and I think that when you really struggle, it doesn’t mean that you’re failing at praying. You can (and should) definitely pray about it. But sometimes you need a little extra help, and that’s okay, and those things can happen at the same time. That’s something I’ve heard from a lot of athletes in particular — they think they gotta power through it and keep praying about it and figure it out on their own. God can lead you to a therapist, just as He can lead you to anything else. I think that’s super important.
SL: I so agree. I love what you said there because God can definitely lead you to a therapist. Maybe that’s the answer to the prayer that you needed to hear. People don’t think about it like that. The answer to that prayer may be a spiritual counselor or pastoral counsel [who] can give you tips that can help you along your faith journey and mental health journey. God can answer prayers. And there are more ways than one.
I’ve done therapy before. I’ve done counseling before. I encourage anybody to do it. It’s been so helpful for me — especially growing up in the church. I know there have been people who have really not been fond of counseling or therapy because they feel like the only counselor is God. And yes, He’s a wonderful counselor, but God created people to be counselors and therapists too.
There was a quote, and I’m trying to remember how it goes:
“He doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the call.”
You know, people are kind of stuck in their old ways because they don’t want to adopt new ways — which I can understand to an extent — but you know, things change, life happens, new methods will come about and God created it (or whatever you believe in because I know there’s all kinds of religions). Everything’s here for a reason. Take advantage of it while you’re here because I want you to be able to get the kind of help that you need.
MB: Yeah, so true. And it’s such an important conversation because people don’t talk about this. So, I really appreciate you being so open and honest about it. Thank you.
Comparison, Perfectionism, and Fearing Failure
MB: So I want to pivot a little bit because I was looking through your book and I really liked the way that you broke it up into some of the different struggles that you’ve had, and how that plays a role in turning the pain that you feel from them into purpose. Let’s start with the comparison, perfectionism, and fear of failure area — what has that looked like for you either as an athlete or just as a person? How have you navigated that alongside your faith?
SL: Honestly, that was probably one of my favorite parts to [write] about because I have been guilty of that — comparing myself to other people, especially while trying to get to where I want to be in life. And I look at other people and I’m like, “I’m happy for you. You’re doing your thing.” but as happy as you are for that person, you can’t help but feel: okay, when’s it gonna be my turn? I’m still stuck. I feel like I’m just in the middle here. I don’t know what to do anymore. And along with that fear, I also felt like failing was something that I just couldn’t take because I had a bad reaction to it. I had perfectionism problems growing up and I had to learn that the hard way.
I had to learn (as well as other people had to remind me) that comparison is the thief of joy. Me trying to compare myself to other people, especially on social media, can have a negative effect on my own joy in my life. Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.
I had to learn that people post the highlights — the good stuff — but a lot of times people don’t post the downfalls that they’re going through on social media. You’ll see people post: “I just got this job,” or “I got this house” — all the great stuff — but nobody really talks about the things that they went through to get there. You never know what they went through to get what they have now.
So, I had to understand about celebrating the here and now — the moments that I do have now and just understand that my time is coming. Even to this day, I can struggle with it from time to time and that’s normal. But in those moments, I have to remind myself that my time is coming and it won’t be like this always. It’s going to happen at the right point in time. It may not be on my time, but it will be at the right point in time. And when that time does come, I’ll be more grateful for the things that have happened before that had to happen to get me to where I want to be in life. So it’s just a matter of showing gratitude and being thankful for where I am now.
I could be dead right now. But I’m not. I’m able to move my limbs and I’m able to breathe. Even if you’re not in the career that you want to be in right now, or where you want to be in life, still look at the blessings that you do have. I have a roof over my head, I have food on the table, and clothes on my back. So gratitude is a big part of this for me. I had to learn and understand what it meant to really show gratitude and be thankful for what I already have.
MB: Yeah, absolutely. And I think one of those things too is growth and being grateful for growth because there are so many things — especially when you have that perfectionist mindset — that you label as failure when they’re actually growth. And that’s something that God has led you to intentionally, but it’s really hard to recognize in the moment.
Imposter Syndrome & Transitions
MB: I want to get into another side of comparison and perfectionism — the whole idea of imposter syndrome, especially as athletes and athletes transitioning into spaces where they’re no longer the captain or the senior. How have you navigated that feeling of imposter syndrome?
SL: Yeah, I’ve had to deal with impostor syndrome for as long as I can remember. You feel like you’re at the top of the world, you’re going okay, and then you start somewhere else, and you see all these people who are higher up and you don’t know how to feel.
Then you think, “Maybe I’m not as good as I thought I was.” You start to have these doubts creep into your mind.
I think it’s just a matter of knowing your worth. Knowing who you are on the inside and knowing how good you are and not letting anything or anybody say otherwise. Knowing who you are in Christ, knowing who you are as a person, and as an athlete.
I was a pro at beating myself up and I had to learn that we all are imperfect. We all make mistakes. You know, I feel like we all want to win, but you’re a winner if you give it your all because some people wouldn’t give it even 50%. So give it your all. Give it 110% in whatever sport that you’re in, whether it be volleyball, tennis, or basketball. Even if it’s outside the court give it your all because if that’s something you love doing, you won’t let anything or anybody tell you that you’re not meant for this. How do you know when I’m not meant for something? You don’t know me. I don’t know you. So I know what I’m good at. I know what I’m meant to do.
Now, if it’s not meant for you, you’ll know it’s not meant for you. But don’t let nobody tell you that you’re not meant to do this. You’re gonna have a lot of haters and they can keep drinking the Haterade and keep drinking it all day. But the more they talk about it, the more you keep pushing to do you. The more you keep pushing to get to the best you that you can be and the best athlete, runner, and person that you can be on this earth. Because there’s only one you. No one can do you better than you. So instead of trying to be like everybody else, just be the best you that you can be at the end of the day.
Imposter Syndrome & Racism
MB: I want to touch on [this] too because sometimes, something like impostor syndrome or feeling like you don’t belong somewhere can be confused with internalized and systemic racism. Could you share how you’ve been able to separate instances where that’s the case versus where it’s maybe just your mind telling you things?
SL: There’ll be moments where you feel like your mind is playing games with you — your enemies trying to play games with you — because you’ll just instantly have thoughts in your head: you don’t belong here, you don’t need to be here, you’re not good at that. Those are just the enemy. The enemy is trying to play games in your mind and if you allow it to continue to play games it’s going to affect you in a negative way.
Now when it comes to systemic racism, that’s definitely something that I don’t wish on anybody because [whether] some people see it or not, racism is real. It’s been real. You [can] exhibit that it is just by [not believing in it].
It can be a lot to deal with racism, you know, to deal with people who call you derogatory names. And it can take a toll on you. I shouldn’t be surprised [that] there are people out here like this, but at the same time, it hurts because we’re supposed to be a community. There’s no unity here. It’s division. It’s a lot of division around nowadays. And if anybody knows me I’m all about unity. I’m all about togetherness — you can’t spell community without unity. And if there’s no unity there ain’t no community.
Sometimes the enemy can play tricks on you. Sometimes the enemy can just throw things in your mind and try to throw you off your game. But then there are moments. And I’ve had moments like that where racism has been prevalent right in my face. As bad as it feels to have that directed at me, I’m still going to treat people with loving kindness. And that’s what I want to do. There’s a lot of hate in the world and I want to combat that with love as much as possible. I can love you from afar. I ain’t got to be associated with you, but I love you from afar. I wish you well. I wish you all success in the world. But at the same time, I will say: look at yourself at the end of the day, and the kind of energy you gave to me. I don’t wish bad on you, but it’s just gonna come right back to you whether you believe it or not.
MB: Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, I think one of the hardest lessons is that compassion and accountability coexist. And I can imagine — of course, I don’t have that experience — but trying to hold that in your head is really, really hard. And it’s just a completely different type of pain. I mean, it’s a reflection of that person, not of you.
SL: It may not happen to you directly. You may not be the one doing it directly to somebody, but if it’s right in your face, you gotta acknowledge the fact that it’s right there. You have to worry about what’s going on in your mind. What are you thinking about? What was on your mind when that happened? Accountability is key. Hold yourself accountable for your actions because they have consequences.
Navigating Isolation & Loneliness
MB: I know you’ve written a lot about isolation, loneliness, and depression, which I’m sure has played a part — how do you pull yourself out of those moments? Because we all feel them in some capacity, and they’re really difficult to navigate, especially when you’re unfamiliar with some of the mental health-related coping mechanisms and faith as well.
SL: Yeah, I’ve always felt like I was an outsider. Growing up, I felt like I just didn’t really fit in anywhere. I was a black sheep in my family, to be honest. The only person who I had growing up who I knew was there for me (other than my mom and my sister) was God. People bullied me into isolation and I didn’t want to talk to anybody. People called me names because I have dyslexia too.
So I’ve dealt with so much, and there were times I felt like I wanted to kill myself to be honest, because I felt like: is all this worth going through? And it sucked to be honest, because I really didn’t have friends like that growing up. I really didn’t. And when I did have the few friends that I had, I really do appreciate them. I really do. And then as I got older, I did what I could to not let what others say get to me.
I know who I am. I had to remind myself that I know who I am in Christ. I know who I am as a person and the kind of qualities that I can bring to the table. What I’m not going to do is let you dictate who I am, what I could do on this planet, and what I can do. So I’d rather be around people who I know care about me and love me and have my best interest at heart. And I’ve gotten some great friends over the years and I’m so, so thankful for them. I’m able to talk to them about anything. I’m able to be vulnerable and vulnerable has not always been an easy thing for me, especially being a man in society, you know?
So if you’re fighting isolation or any sort of depression, just know that you’re definitely not alone on that. You may feel alone in the moment. There is somebody out there who cares about you. There’s somebody out there who wants to see you succeed, who wants to help you, who wants to be around you. There are qualities that you bring to the table that they see in you that you may not see in yourself in the moment. But there’s somebody out there who would love to be around that kind of good energy that you bring to the table. So please, do what you can to surround yourself with good people — like-minded people who you know you can count on, and who not only say they’ll be there but prove it in their actions. I’ve got a lot of people who can talk the talk, but they can’t walk the walk. So if you can talk the talk and back up what you say — you’re a good genuine [person] and you’re good in my book.
Defining Vulnerability
MB: Yeah, amazing. I’m gonna remember all those things. I just appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to dig into some of this because I know for me, it’s like opening a wound sometimes. So I appreciate that and it actually feeds really well into the next question I want to ask, which is: what does vulnerability mean for you? And I know we’ve been very vulnerable here.
SL: I love when somebody asks me that because, for me, vulnerability is the ability to be your full self. Even in all the pain that you go through — it is to be yourself. Because a lot of times you put on the front [that] you’re good. If you’re not having a good day, say something. If you’re not feeling well, say something. If you’re feeling good, say something. Just be you at the end of the day. Don’t be ashamed of your story. Don’t be ashamed of who you are or where you come from. Because that’s another thing that I’ve been seeing — some people are ashamed of where they come from. I’m not going to be ashamed of where I come from and who I am because I am who I am for a reason. I was created this way.
Using Your Past to Level Up
MB: For the longest time, I don’t know if it was shame, but I was afraid of being myself in the ways that mental illness had changed me. Because it definitely does change you. I don’t think it changes the core of who you are as a human, but it does change you in ways that you can’t control. And that just goes along with what you said: don’t be ashamed of your past and who you are and where you come from. It’s a part of you and you bring that to every table that you sit at. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a piece of who you are.
SL: We all have a past. We all have done things that we’re not proud of. I know I sure have, especially in college, but it’s just part of who you are — it’s not who you are now it’s who you were in the past. But it’s a matter of not being ashamed of it. We may not be proud of our decisions, but look where we are now. Look where you are now, and just be thankful for where you are because you may not be where you want to be but you can be thankful that you’re not where you used to be.
You know, as we get older, we’re always evolving. We’re always growing not just physically but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, in every aspect of our life. We’re growing in some way, shape, or fashion and we can’t stay the same forever. Every new level is going to require a different version of yourself because you know what they say: new levels, new devils. But there’s also new deliverance at the same time.
MB: Yeah, I’m thinking of video games and when you get to the next level there are more monsters and other things to be worried about, but then there’s also more epic tokens.
SL: I get that so much because I’m a video gamer so I get that so much.
MB: Yep, and I’m not so I’m low-key proud of myself for that, haha.
But yeah, that’s just so true for different stages of your life. There are more intense challenges as you get older. A lot of people talk about that transition out of college and going from being an athlete to [being] thrust into the real world. And you’re like, “Okay, who am I? And what are all these adulting things that I now have to do?” And it’s scary, but then there’s also so much that comes out of that — growth, the people that you get to meet, the conversations that you get to have, how your faith can grow, and how you use the things that you learn as an athlete in your life. There are so many things that actually do transfer over that you don’t even realize.
SL: It definitely is such a transition. And post-grad depression is real. Some people have made their sport their whole identity. Once they finish they feel lost in who they are. They don’t know who they are anymore. So I look at it as, yes, you competed in that sport, and that was a part of what you did in the day. But that doesn’t mean that’s your whole identity. There’s more to you than the athlete. After athletics. I’m still the same person or I’m an elevated version — an elevated version of myself. Use what you learned in athletics to apply it to your life, whether it be professionally or personally.
MB: It’s so hard because you can’t separate who you are from what you do. It’s a piece of you but it’s not the only piece.
Sylvester’s Message for Us
SL: I will say it’s very important to understand that what you’ve done in the past will always be a piece of you. Because what you’re going to do — the things that you’re going to accomplish, the dreams that you’re going to be able to turn into fruition and reality — is going to be [amazing] in comparison to what you did in the past. So be grateful, and be proud of what you did in the past, but look ahead as well for what’s in store for the future. You can have those memories, you can reminisce from time to time, but don’t live in the past. Live for the now.
MB: Yeah, I love that. It’s like: don’t live in your story too much. Thank you so much for all of the wisdom and vulnerability and everything that you shared. I think this is really going to help a lot of athletes with an aspect of their life that isn’t talked about a lot. Whether that’s mental health or their faith, we just don’t see that represented. So I really, really, really appreciate you and your time and everything that you shared.
